


Little Secrets

by oak_savi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Han kept secrets too, Kylo Ren Backstory, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Masturbation, Nightmares on the falcon, POV Ben Solo, POV Kylo Ren, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:00:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22626742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oak_savi/pseuds/oak_savi
Summary: Not long after the battle on Crait, Kylo deals with the harsh reality of Rey's rejection the only way he knows how: by lashing out.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Little Secrets

He was having a reoccurring dream. A memory he couldn't escape. 

“We just have to make a pitstop, and then we can head to the campsite on Naboo. We’ll be under the stars in no time! It will be our little secret Ben,” Han said. 

Ben nodded, looking up at his dad’s lucky dice swaying in the falcon as him and Chewy set some coordinates.

“Just hide under here Ben, the meeting will be quick,” Han says pointing to a round booth. 

Looking out and up from under the table, the cantina was packed. Laughter, shouting and music filled the room. Han is not alone for long. A man, who looks human sits across from him, not noticing young Ben hiding. 

Ben loses himself in the scenery. He has never seen anything quite like this. He can sense people’s joy, fear and desires. Glass breaks in the other side of the cantina, and Ben finally focuses on his father, who is now arguing with the strange man who sits across from him.

“I can’t deliver that kind of product. You know I can’t,” Han pleaded.

“You oughta be thanking me for giving you an opportunity to redeem yourself. Complete the job, or I’ll end your life.” 

The strange man pulled put his blaster under the table, aiming past Ben and directly at Han. A terrified Ben begins to rock back and forth. He placed his hands over his ears, then over his eyes. 

“Listen, you’re going to have to be more flexible. You know what it’s like out there,” Han stated.

“I know who you are, and I don’t care,” The strange man stated. He cocked the blaster, moving his finger to the trigger.

_ It all happened so fast.  _

“Ben what did you do?”

“I don’t know” Ben cried.

“BEN, what have you done?” Han shouted.

  
Ben opens his eyes and finds himself standing over this man’s lifeless body, blood seeping out of his eyes, ears and mouth. 

_ Blood. Ben’s first.  _

Han grabs Ben’s wrist and drags him back to the falcon where Han pushes him into the storage compartments under the bridge.

“Chewy, get us out of here! FAST!” Han relayed. 

The last image Ben has is of his father in utter and complete fear of him, locking him under the bridge. 

Ben sobs all night. His emotions grew so high that with the height of his sobs, electrical units spark and break around him. 

Reliving this dream, Kylo Ren knows that he is not alone. He can feel  _ her _ presence. This fear and pain amplified by 2, his vulnerability on his sleeve. Unable to find her, or push her out of his mind, he forces himself to wake up. 

Covered in sweat, he wakes to find himself alone. She isn’t here. She hasn’t been here. He hasn’t seen Rey since the battle on Crait. He wonders if she will ever open herself up to him again. He’s grateful that she is not here in this moment. He doesn’t want to relive these dreams, let alone talk about it, and would appreciate it if she stopped digging into his darkness. 

His darkness has grown to unknown depths. Luke is dead. His father is dead by his own hands. He is truly alone, and sulking in it. 

Though it has only been a couple of hours of rest, Ren decides to wake and start his routine early.

** 

New challenges faced the First Order. Recruitment and appearances were the subject of today’s meetings. In recent independent holo polls, the galaxy voted to say that they would rather die than join or assist the First Order and that the First Order was to blame for recent droughts throughout the galaxy. 

_ Okay guys, we don’t control the weather.  _

This type of news was spreading through the galaxy and could prove to make trade and resource negotiations more difficult. Without resources or troops, the First Order could not rule the tyranny they so desperately aspired to. 

Today was a day of arguments. Ren had had enough of his Supreme Leader responsibilities and retreated to his quarters earlier than usually. 

It wasn’t long before he received notification that his guest had arrived. 

“Send her in,” Ren demanded.

A woman enters Kylo’s chambers. She is young. Her skin is sun kissed so it is likely that she is from a warm planet. Her hair is lighter and longer than he wanted it to be, but it will have to do. She has such a small frame. Dressed in simple, but eloquent blue silk dress and a golden cowl. 

Ren rests his right hand to his chin and lips, assessing her. He can sense some fear, but more or less he can sense her curiosity. She is meek, and though he doesn’t particular like that, he knows that he doesn’t particularly like anything so she will have to do. 

“Look at me.” 

She lifts her line of sight from the floor. 

_ Golden brown eyes. Just what he ordered.  _

“Remove your cowl.” He demanded. 

She follows his instructions without hesitation. 

“You will find a set of clothing in the first room on the right. You will change in that room. When you enter this room, you will address me as Ben. Do you understand?”

The girl nods, her eyes fixed on the floor. She scurries off to follow his instructions. 

It takes only a few moments before she enters the sitting area of Ren’s quarters. Ren can sense her confusion. She is wearing a weathered off-white tunic, similar fabric draping from her shoulders to her back, ruffled brown boots and a thick sandy brown leather belt. Her hair resting over her chest and back. 

_ Almost the real thing.  _

Sensing her emotions, he says “Don’t be afraid.”

He walks up to his dresser and opens his top drawer to retrieve a pair of shears. He advances toward her slowly. He circles her until he is behind her. He reaches out to touch her hair, and she flinches. He likes this. He tugs harder at her hair, pulling her towards him. When she no longer resists, he lifts her hair up and cuts it in half. The girl gasps but she does not move. He then takes her remaining hair, and reconstructs it into a tight bun. Leaving her at the edge of the room, he returns to the centre of the room. Only a few feet between the two as he takes it all in.

His eyes to meet hers.  _ Golden Brown. _

To his surprise, she advances toward him. Kylo takes a step back and sits down on his bed. Placing one hand on his shoulder she leans in to kiss Kylo’s cherk close to his ear. He sighs a sense of relief. Though she is not exactly what he wants, the warm whisper of her breath on his ear is soothing. He closes his eyes and thinks of Rey. The way she moved closer to him in the elevator on their way to confront Snoke. Rey smelt of sweet wheat and sunshine. The very thought made him feel very warm. He began to relax. 

The girl continued to kiss Kylo on his neck and raised her mouth to his ear and said  “You want to fuck me in these rags, don’t you Ben?” 

“NO.”

He stands up abruptly and force pushes her against the wall.

“She would NEVER say that.”

“I’m sorry, please. Tell me what to say,” the girl pleaded.

“NO. She would never say that either.”

Lifting her small body into the air, Kylo used the force to strip her tunic off her upper body displaying her breast pad. Kylo could sense her fear, and like the other girls he has played with, the fear is what brought him closer to himself; closer to his satisfaction. With the wave of his fingers, he removed her trousers and scarf. She is dangling in the air, nearly naked.

“Please, stop. I don’t like this,” she cried. 

But those words were heaven to Kylo’s ears. Please, and stop were his favourites in these games. 

Naturally, he ignored her, this time using the force to pull down her breast pad. Her breasts exposed to him shot through Kylo like a thousand blasters. His pants grew tighter. His muscles ached like he had been training for hours. The sight of her golden skin glistening for him. Her nipples are hard. Tears began to fall from her face. 

_ The breaking point _ , he thought.

He let her fall to the ground. 

“GET OUT!” he screamed at her. 

Just as she was about the exit the room, Kylo froze her in plain site. He circled her once more. He decided to switch up his routine and allow himself a little extra. He deserved it after a day like today. He paused in front of her frozen disheveled body. Kylo placed his giant hand between her breasts. He could feel her heart beating uncontrollably. He traced his fingers over her breasts just barely touching her hard nipples. 

_ Hmm.  _

“You will take 100 credits from my desk, exit my chambers and forget everything that happened here tonight.” 

He unfreezes her.

“I will take 100 credits from your desk, exit your chambers and forget everything that happened here tonight.”

The girl was gone. And Ren was alone now. 

Roused and ready, he reached for himself. Finally, he would have the relief he requires; the relief he deserves. He stroked himself softly, taking his time to cuff his balls. Reliving the last few minutes, his strides speed up. He licks his lips and remembers how Rey smelt. How she denied him. How she bested him in battle. He remembers the way the sweat dripped from her face and rolled off her chin after battling in the throne room. He is now aggressively pursuing his relief, each grab harder than the last until he cannot stand it anymore. He releases onto his hand and stomach. 

His blood no longer boils and he makes his way to the fresher to clean up. 

Another day, another girl. 

**Author's Note:**

> This one shot is a window into a dark Kylo I've been developing. If ya'll are into it, I can write more. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
